I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
