This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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