Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
