tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
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