can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
