Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Warsđ
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I havenât sent any nudes yet in 2018.
Thatâs not true...is it?
I really regret not asking âlike a cupcakeâ when you asked me to eat your ass
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