so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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