:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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