State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
