I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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