It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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