I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
