I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
