Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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