Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
