I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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