i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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