Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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