So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
