Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
