And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
