my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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