does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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