I want to have your abortion
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize