I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
