if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
