woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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