Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
