No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Are my feet made of real feet?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
