I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
These tits shall not be calmed
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
