did you get engaged???
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
