I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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