So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
