I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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