nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
