Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
