You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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