we have pet lesbian snakes
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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