idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I cannot find my penis.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
