The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
