Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
