A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
