just come out here and I will go home with you...
...so i touched it.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
