I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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