He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
