so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
