Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
