It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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