remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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