this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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